Teddie DeKiekens' Sports Bonanza

Teddie’s explosive show for the week of 12/9/07

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Past Sports Bananzas: Week One, Week Two

Malevolence: Bereavement set visit

Adam Barnick goes behind the scenes of Malevolence: Bereavement, the prequel to the acclaimed 2004 horror film Malevolence.

Acting Today (Episode Four)

Stevens Craig hosts this discussion program focusing on the fine art of acting. Special guests will share insights into the wonderful world of the stage and screen.
Special Guest: Jonathan Roumie

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Bedbugs IX

Bedbugs IX




Click here for an explanation of how Bedbugs is created.

Click here for last week's Bedbugs.





Salient walls traversed inside or outside deacon's
parity fantasy veiled leaves Walter's impression
desired thirty eight warped steps in advance.
Cars crated to be known outside your box; oil
is a matter of defiance, deference; opera seats
whittled down leave few venues for the intelligent.
The vacuous look themselves up in the dictionary.
Shadows of fluttering birds, pen ran out of ideas
and drive long before she came into the picture.
The bed of nails has spread its rusted cancer
throughout the state. Slipping off groaning,
grating brackets is the oil's remains.
Walter finds his brother's essence in the forest along
with the remains of his clothing. Never
seen again, he thinks. Embracing
what's necessary gets you out of the box. So they say.
Pain in the left three hands shadowed by omniscient
vapors, cold in the back of the room.






Next week's seven phrases/groups of words:






-it had been a man
-sliding the aftereffect
-enemies somewhere with voices heard
-language no one can understand
-rattled upstairs and screaming upstairs again
-rising notes, risen thoughts
-wish you'd just come with me

Click here for next week's Bedbugs.
-Adam

The Throes

"The Throes" is the new serialized, minimalistic story/script/phantasmagoria from Peter Rinaldi, presented exclusively here at The Boutros Boutros Follies.

The Throes
Part 1:
"I was doing shit in my blackout"

John passed out on the floor of his bathroom. It’s afternoon. Tons of light pouring in the window. A cell phone ringing in the other room. It’s loud enough for him to stir from the noise.
He jumps up. He is a horribly handsome man in his late 20s, not quite looking his best at the moment. He runs into the living room slash bedroom slash kitchen. Grabs it. He got up too fast; he’s shaky.
John/Hello?
Voice/What’s up?
It’s Sammy, a friend.
J/I can’t talk dude, I’m fucked up.
S/Why’d you answer the phone if you can’t talk.
J/Yeah, I know, right? I don’t know.
S/So you can talk?
J/What the hell do you want? Why are you calling me so early?
S/Its 2:30 in the afternoon.
There are boxes everywhere. He’s in the process of packing to move out. John scans his room. Something is wrong.
J/I blacked out again. I was doing shit in my blackout.
S/What?
J/I must’ve moved stuff last night. I don’t remember moving this stuff.
S/Oh yeah? Listen, I gotta talk to you about what happened with “Mustard” and “Ketchup”.
J/Yeah, definitely…
He is not really paying attention. Something is bothering him about the boxes.
J/…I want to know what happened.
S/Yeah, developments. Well, do you want to get something to eat? Like, say, in like an hour or something?
John is disturbed by something on a box, enough to move toward it.
The word “Stacie” is written on one of the boxes.
J/(low)What the fuck?
S/What?
He looks at another box. It has the word “Donna” on it in black marker as well. Another has “Tina” on it. Another has “Alice”.
J/What the fuck is this?
S/WHAT?!
J/Someone wrote on my boxes.
Another call coming in. He looks at the phone. It says “Mr. Flynn.” There is black marker all over his index finger.
J/Dude, my boss is calling, I gotta take this.
S/Where do you want to meet?
J/I can’t eat man. I drank too much last night. I’ll call you back. [Clicks over] Hello?
Voice/Get over here now, it’s an emergency.

____________________________________________________________________

Mr. Flynn asks John to sit down on his living room sofa. He does. He’s nervous.
MF/Did you have a good time last night?
J/Oh shit, what did I do?
Mr. Flynn is ‘Tim Roth’ meets ‘Yul Brynner’. The first three buttons of his cuff-linked shirt are open. His apartment is modern but cozy and completely ‘upper east side’.
MF/You drank a lot huh? You don’t remember?
John puts his head in his hands.
J/(Barely audible) No.
MF/I believe you.
J/(Lifting his head up)I really don’t. What happened?
MF/You kissed my daughter.
John’s face changes another color. It is not on the color scale and not worth trying to describe. He starts to shake his head.
J/No way.
MF/Listen to me…
J/Oh my God.
MF/Listen… (He looks around. Gets up.) Let’s go in my office.

When Mr. Flynn closes the door of his office John is already sitting on the chair next to Flynn’s desk. He is sunk low. His head is almost at his knees.
MF/Don’t worry, I’m not going to kill you.
J/I can’t even begin to tell you how sorry-
MF/Save it. She’s fourteen years old. I should strangle you to death right now.
John looks at him right in the eyes. He nods his head repeatedly.
MF/I happen to trust you, John. I actually still trust you. But it is going to take a lot to begin to make things right with you in my mind. Would you like to begin to do that?
J/Yes. Yes I would, Mr. Flynn.
MF/Okay. I have been thinking of asking you to do something that I didn’t think you would do, but now, thanks to your “mistake”, well, let’s just say I no longer have to make this a request.
J/Whatever you need me to do.
MF/I am telling you things that are not to leave this room. You hear me?
John nods. He swallows. He’s a little more fearful of what Mr. Flynn is going to say.
MF/I a feeling my wife is being unfaithful. I don’t know with whom. It might be with a number of men, it might not be with anyone, yet. I don’t know. But she’s at least trying to cheat on me.
Mr. Flynn stands in front of him for dramatic effect.
MF/I know she finds you attractive. I want you to seduce her to see if she is interested in having an affair with you and then I want you to report back to me.
John is not reacting. He seems calm.
J/(Not in a pleading way, but calmly)Is there any way I can talk you out of using me for that? She and I get along well. She is very nice to me. I wouldn’t feel right-
MF/No.
Silence.
J/(wincing)How do you suppose I go about doing this?
MF/Come on John. I know you’ve fucked wives.
John looks at him, repulsed. Mr. Flynn smiles, then drops it. He stares at John for a long time.
MF/Now go apologize to Kira.

________________________________________________________________________


Kira’s room is not “typical teen”. It could be mistaken for Grandma’s room. There are no posters or clutter. There are no electronics save for a tiny TV on the dresser. She is sitting up on the bed with a book in her hand. John is half-way in the door frame.
K/You told me you would say that today.
J/ What?
K/You told me, last night, that you would come to me today apologizing and saying that you didn’t remember anything.
John is taken aback.
J/Are you being serious with me?
K/ You were bored with the party. You said you’d help me with my homework but you were manic. It was kind of funny. I was laughing. You really don’t remember?
J/No. And that’s the problem right there. We shouldn’t be hanging out like that. That happens too much. You shouldn’t be hanging out with adults in your room.
K/(laughing)Why are you telling me? It was your idea.
J/Alright. (He scans the hall) Listen to me. I think you’re a great kid. I enjoy talking to you. You are really smart and funny and you’re gonna be a beautiful young lady, but-
K/(smiling)I already am a beautiful young lady.
J/Kira, you know what I mean.
K/I’m just kidding.
J/But, despite what I might have said when I was really drunk, I didn’t, and don’t, want to kiss you. I do not like you like that, at all.
K/Chill out. I don’t care.
J/I date women.
K/Yeah, I know, you told me.
J/What!?
K/You told me about all the girls you’re dating right now.
J/Aww, for fuck’s- I can’t believe this. What did I say? Wait! You know what I don’t wanna know. This is sick (He freezes. He is remembering something.)Oh my God.
K/What?
J/(More to himself than to her)I think I labeled my boxes with all their names.
He looks at his black marker-ed fingers. He is overwhelmed a bit by the thought and bizarreness of this.
K/(slowly)Okay. You need help.
J/Yeah, I probably do. Listen, if you are not bothered by the kiss, why did you tell your dad?
K/I didn’t. He must’ve seen us.
John’s face drops slightly.
She goes back to her book.
K/Don’t worry, I’m not fucked up from making out with you.

________________________________________________________________________

John’s box-filled apartment. The lights are low. A woman, Sonja, is lying naked on his bed. John is kneeling on a pillow next to her.
J/I have to leave.
S/Who is it?
J/What?
S/Who is it tonight?
J/Sonja, why do you want to put yourself though that?
S/(Holding in tears)Good….question.
She reaches to grab her clothes.
J/We have to talk about him before you leave. It’s important.
S/No! I don’t want to talk about him!!
J/He knows something is up with you.
S/So what! Keeps him on his fucking toes. (She stops gathering her clothes and turns to him) Wait, how do you know? Did he say something?
J/He asked me to seduce you, to try to get you to have an affair with me.
She takes it in.
She is struck with laughter.
S/(laughing)Wow. He asked you to do that? (She stops laughing and suddenly looks like she is going to cry.)That’s almost sweet. (She begins to gather her clothes again.) Did you tell him to go fuck his sick ass self?
John doesn’t know how to answer. It wouldn’t make sense that he would agree to do something like that for no reason. Did Mr. Flynn tell her that he kissed Kira? Probably not. He is taking too long to answer. She looks at him.
J/Yeah…I mean, I didn’t say that, but, I told him “No, that’s sick.”
S/Then don’t worry about it.
J/But he knows you’re attracted to me.
S/So what? Who isn’t?
She looks at him with deep longing. She is drowning. Her eyes fill up with water.
John gets up and makes his way to the bathroom. The shower turns on.
She puts her bra on. His cell phone vibrates on the nightstand. She leans over, looks at it. It says “Alice”. She sits back down and coldly slips her top on. The vibration stops. She freezes, closes her eyes, sighs, then opens them again. She scans the looming boxes surrounding the bed. She sees the marker-written “Donna” on the box right in front of her. She turns and sees “Greta” and scanning more of the room she sees “Tina”. She looks panicked, like something is overtaking her. She is frantic now. Her eyes stop on “Alice”. She stares at it. She bites her teeth together. The fist that holds her panties clinches tight. Tighter. She pushes it into the mattress hard.
The phone beeps twice and is silent.

to be continued...

Teddie DiKiekens' Sports Bonanza

Teddie at it again with some breaking news for the week of 12/2/07

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The First 60 Days of BOUTROS!

When we set sail with the ship of Boutros two months ago, we told ourselves the following:
"When people come to The Boutros Boutros Follies they will find a plethora of contributors presenting them, consistently, with a myriad of items in varied mediums." But no one, NO ONE, expected this...

Let's start our tour through the maze of Boutros with the consistent contributions of my fellow co-founders. Brian Hughes started his "Weekly Slice" of fiction work with three true slices of life - "Klinger", "Legs at Lunch", and "The Fiber One Revelation" and then began a fascinating on-going series of interconnected stories, "Tudor City", "Revival" and "The Loan". Non-fiction is also a forte of Mr. Hughes. His insightful "Learning how to Practice" series, concerning the practice of Buddhism, begins with "Mindful Walking" and "Judging". And, in case you didn't know, his word is final. If you don't believe me, check out his reviews of The Darjeeling Limited and Lars and the Real Girl.

With Bedbugs, Adam Barnick has presented us with "an experiment in inspiration and occasionally directed stream-of-consciousness" that satisfies as poetry and puzzle. WARNING: this ongoing series, aside from being completely unique, is addictive. Start with the Explanation Page and then jump in at Bedbugs I. See you on the other side.

Need a break from all this reading? Barnick and Hughes have both contributed photo essays that show the wordsmiths have eyes as well. Check out Barnick's Bereavement and Hughes' gear.

Mary Wyatt Matters has been delivering consistent, mysterious writing, with a flair for brevity. The latest work that she has weakly installed is of particular interest.

Stevens Craig has brought The Boutros Boutros Follies into the podcast world with his "Acting Today" program (Episode's One Two and Three). Disclaimer: those looking for a show about acting might not be as satisfied as those looking for some laughs at the expense of someone's debacles.

Variety is the spice of Boutros life, thus we are proud to have Michael grace our site with his perfect blend of food and life. Start your feast with "The Reek of Mustard".

It seems as though I am the one contributor who can't get a handle on this whole consistency thingy. I dipped into some critical writing, then a personal essay about a collaborator, then I performed some dramatic readings of a couple Syd Barrett songs (Love You & Bike), then I did a music video for Complete Kite Clusterfuck.

Finally, sports fans, are you thinking there is nothing of interest for you on The Boutros Boutros Follies? WRONG! Our newest contributor is the immensely talented Timmy Cassese. His Teddie Dikiekens' Sports Bonanza is "ALL OVER the sporting breaking news".

That's the first two months of The Boutros Boutros Follies. If you have like "things", keep checking in, you will not be disappointed.

-Peter Rinaldi