Bedbugs XXXIV

Bedbugs XXXIV

Click here for an explanation of how Bedbugs is created.

Click here for last week's Bedbugs.


Ignore the masked three staring at you then one another when
must be made right at all times becomes the bloomed and wilted
mandate that others must follow..providing they see you
doing it. When will his life actually kick in? All they move
when you're not looking interrupt thoughts and patters and
make the record in your head skip. Sometimes I and the rest
can accept there's nobody out there. Fucking strangers
actually might not get tiring, the book said. Is it fiction?
Hiding upstairs, the kid has a secret. Wasting his time, through
the second window I can tell nobody has been here for years.
I can see it! No matter who's right, 30 going on 14 and wasting
other's time on Monday..everyone needs to get their lives
and grammar and syntax and thought processes together. Then
sit down to feast. On that day, I'll turn to the stranger I married
and hopefully whisper things about "now that you know who I am..."




Next week's seven phrases/groups of words:


-everything came together in her favor
-a moment of grace
-now you've done it
-thirty fatalties from the rooftop
-pretentious easily attained
-one piece missing from the
-just let me rest


-Adam

Six Word Theater

Six Word Theater

Click here for last week's entry.

Inspired by the challenge Hemingway undertook to tell a story
in six words("For Sale: baby shoes. Never worn.”), I attempt
to polish my skills by telling a six-word story or phrase each
Wednesday.

Feel free to "continue the story"
or start your own.

Today's entry:

Grandma doesn't even remember visits, now.



-Adam

Trailers from the Harry Penderecki oeuvre

Adam Barnick and LMB Productions present two trailers from cult film director
Harry Penderecki's back catalog, in anticipation of his
summer comeback film Brutal Massacre.

INDIANA JONES AND THE KINGDOM OF THE CRYSTAL SKULL by Frank Palmcoast

When he's not watching, with beads of sweat, his fellow, legally blind, senior citizens parallel park, Frank Palmcoast is catching seven dollar movies at the local multiplex from sunny Pompano Beach, Florida. He's retired, he's angry at the world, he can't spell to save his life, and he hates Hollywood almost as much as Hillary Clinton, but that will not stop our irreverent, dementia fightin', AARP card carrying everyman from giving us a fresh take on all things Hollyweird. Besides, how can he pass up that marvelous senior citizen discount?

Frank Palmcoast recently went under the knife in a Florida hospital. He has recuperated and is back in tip top reviewing shape. He wants to thank all his fans who wrote cards and letters to the BBF. His recovery wouldn't have been as speedy without them!

***************************************************

Firstly, someone has to shorten this title! Don't go to this movie looking for something more than a two hour ride of both humor, adventure and exitement.Indiana Jones perfectly fits Harrison like a glove. It has been 19 years and now Indiana Jones is much older but his homor and demeanor are intact.Harrison Ford is old enough to pay senior citizen price at his own summer block buster. Right from the beginning you see his famous Fedora, the one that stays put through every tricky situation. Ford certainly seems up to the challenge or at least his stunt double does. There is a ton of great moments and these moments will remind you of all the fun in the first three.This Indiana Jones is no Raiders of the Lost Arc but if you look at the History of most sequels, this has to rank among the most respectable. This Crystal Skull they are looking for looks like Larry King without the suspenders. For me, other than Harrison the three other stars are Spielberg, Lucas and let's not forget John Williams for his infamous Raiders music and it's call to adventure and when it's sounded
it tells us fun is just ahead and good luck on getting this theme out of your head. Ford still remains dashing in his fedora and he can still crack his bullwhip. Now Indiana Jones will slip into the history of film like Rocky Balboa. John Rambo & John McCain safe in the knowledge that he goes out at the top of his game. Does Harrison Ford sucessfully repeat, yes he CANNES!
Palmcoast here!
PS: Some additional questions from Palmcoast:1) Why do the police always tell vicious criminals to watch their heads while placing them in police vehicles? 2) Car dealers advertise cars for say $199.00 per month but in the small prints you have to put $5,000 at the inception? 3) Why when riots occur, do the rioteers always burn and destroy cars? 4)We are always told to hit the SAP button on your remote, where is that on the remote?5) Palmcoast is sick of seeing Ed McMahon and his Premier Walk-in Baths! 6) Why are all the Miss Universes from this plannet? Last but not least--Giuseppi Franco--enough said!

Bedbugs XXXIII

Bedbugs XXXIII


Click here for an explanation of how Bedbugs is created.

Click here for last week's Bedbugs.


Exhausted and ignoring the false betrayal he's been labeled with
over the phone manages to cause drones in single file to
move a little faster, but never out of turn. He leaves
the library which was covered in dust from lack of use
even though they'll never find him there. Battered metal
office furniture leaves sparkling cinder remnants that
can't be remembered or denied or experienced; unless you pay
for it, the tall man says. It had been a being. Possessing it for a
spell, he tongued the roof of its mouth and ran fingers through
its hair. The walls started to decay at a swift pace from the
rainfall and apathy. Time to abandon this place. Knowing
speaking out of turn is welcome at any time, though only
the foul weather will hear it. I won't even consider coming
back in five or a hundred years, sleeping one hundred hours
on a dying company's time. When we wake up, will the sun be
out? Doubtful but smiling; won’t even think of help. When you
get home and truly know me, you ask if it’s still in the woods.



Next week's seven phrases/groups of words:



-must be made right at all times
-they move when you're not looking
-fucking strangers
-through the second window
-I can see it!
-wasting other's time on Monday
-now that you know who I am


-Adam

Six Word Theater

Click here for last week's entry.

Inspired by the challenge Hemingway undertook to tell a story
in six words("For Sale: baby shoes. Never worn.”), I attempt
to polish my skills by telling a six-word story or phrase each
Wednesday.

Feel free to "continue the story"
or start your own.

Today's entry:


Dad just got married!
AGAIN.
Sigh..



-Adam Barnick

The Story Slice: The Takeoff

by Brian Hughes

This is a continuation of a story that began here:

Maureen: Part 1

Maureen: Part 2

Cahil sat at the gate confidently. He batted his thighs like drums, feeling indestructible: three fair maidens would be his. It had taken him many years to feel just …like… this. This would be the sexual adventure he had dreamt about. And what better timing: a career defining interview with pop star Brenda Burgundy, several biters for his first book of fiction, the beginning of a new stable life with his soon to be bride, and a grand sense of entitlement that all of this and more should be coming to him.

His trip of unbridled sexual ribaldry though would have to wait, for there was a fissure in the landing gear module of the airplane. There was another flight he could jump on, but that would mean a three hour layover in Chicago. Not exactly how he wants to see one of the great cities for the first time. He’ll wait.

The Takeoff Bar was teeming with business types reading trade magazines and sports sections. There was a stool open; Cahil took it. All this dreaming of the three California sex maidens made him feel licentious, so he ordered a rum and coke and dialed Janeen.

“Mom and I are looking at three more restaurants for our reception.”
“So we’ve ruled out the Botanical Gardens?” Cahil asked.
“Yes – and The Inter-Continental.”
“Awww … I was jonesing for The Inter-Continental. That view.”
“That’s so cute …”
“What?”
“That you’re this invested. That you are disappointed.”
“Of course I’m invested!” He laughs.
“Well, one thing the city is not short on is views.”
“Very true.”
“You know something?”
“What?”
“I miss you already. You think you might be able to come home earlier?”
“Possibly, but Carey is trying to set me up with another interview – I can’t say no to Carey.”
“No, you’re absolutely right. I picked out three invitations that I think you’ll really like.”
“I can’t wait to see them, hun.” Cahil said as horse racing caught his eyes on the television over the bar.

Talking to Janeen made him feel real low down. Why should I feel guilty, he thought. Every man deserves the opportunity to experience different body types before he sets out on a life of faithfulness. I mean, shit … I’m not having a silly ass bachelor party. Those things are just ass. I couldn’t help it if my mind was genetically prone to stay inside itself and not get laid for years and years and years. I know I’m a good person down deep, I keep telling myself that, and I know it’s true. I just haven’t fucked enough, and I want this – I need this, damn it!

The bartender with the red ponytail was heavily invested in the harness racing on TV.
“I could never get why people preferred harness racing over the regular racing,” Cahil said aloud to the bartender.
The bartender turned slowly toward him with big, bulging spaced out eyes.
“It’s the sulkies, my lad … the sulkies,” he said.
“Oh, okay … are those the carts they ride?”
The bartender looked back at the television. Cahil felt as if he was distracting the bartender from his race. “I like the blue one. If I could bet, I would bet on the blue one.”
“Well put your money where your mouth is lad. Place your loot on the bar!”
Cahil thought it over. “I’m a betting man, don’t tempt me, or you’ll lose your shirt.”
“Put it on the bar lad – the race is about to begin.”
“I have luck on my side – be careful.”
“On the bar lad!”
“How much … how much … let’s say ten dollars?”
“You’re on. You don’t know what the blazens you’re doing, do ya?”
“Not at all.”
“What are ya doin’ lad – you’re gonna loose that ten dollar bill.”
“I’m okay with that.”
After two and a half hours, Cahil was out a hundred dollars, and drunk to boot. Cahil had never flown drunk. This should be interesting, he thought. He was also out 30 dollars in drinks.
“I don’t have any more money for the drinks. I gave you all I have.”
“That’s very unfortunate. What are we going to do about this?”
“What I think I’ll do is run for my gate and not pay you.”
“I’ll be out thirty dollars. I won’t have that.”
Cahil began teasing the bartender with feigning to run away.
“I’ll hop over this bar and kick your little ass. I’ve been to jail, I’ll go again.”
“You’d go to jail over thirty dollars and a shitty airport bar job?”
“You’re beginning to piss me off.”
“I wouldn’t go to jail for my job … shit … Okay …here.” Cahil handed the bartender his charge card. Take twenty dollars off it for yourself – you’re a good chap.”
“Thank you, Sir.”

Cahil hated takeoffs. Janeen was so sweet. She texted him before take off. “Lake George” she wrote. Lake George was where they went on their first vacation together. They would phone or text the name of that first vacation spot as an offer of good luck and love before taking off. Those two words felt so incredibly safe to Cahil. They even had a force strong enough to burst through his drunken haze. He smiled and drifted off into a doze.

In his dream he saw Janeen and his future mother in law on line buying tickets at a movie theatre. The ticket taker was bitching because Janeen had only a hundred dollar bill and no change. The mother in law was angry and yelling at the theatre manager. Cahil walked over and put it all to rest by giving the ticket person three twenties. It felt good to Cahil that he could diffuse the situation. That he had cash in his pocket to do so. An Asian girl behind the ticket window was hot and coming on to Cahil, but she was just a child: he had no interest. Next he found himself on a subway train. The Asian girl sat in front of him as he leaned over her, bucking a bit from the rattle of the subway car. She stared at him and gave him the sex eye. The girl slipped off her sandal and rubbed his ankle with her bare foot. Cahil walked away. She was still a child, and still held no interest to him. He walked to the back of the car and watched the train tracks steal away in the dark tunnel. A young boy was trying to lift himself from the tracks onto the platform. He didn’t make it. A train barreled through and tore the little boy into oblivion. A grunted yell bellowed from deep inside Cahil, as he sound of the co-pilot awoke him. They would be taking the Northern route to California.

Brenda Burgundy was the featured story on the cover of the in-flight magazine. Like the Asian girl of his dream, he had no interest, even if she were one of the most famous women on the planet. Heather – Heather was a name that made his loins twitch. He got an instantaneous desire to jerk off in the airplane bathroom, but he felt his cheeks secreting saliva and was on the verge of violently vomiting. He made his way to the back of the plane and locked himself in. Someone was banging on the door, as he stuck his finger in his mouth. Cahil feared his flight to California would be a monumental mistake.

Bedbugs XXXII

Bedbugs XXXII

Click here for an explanation of how Bedbugs is created.

Click here for last week's Bedbugs.



After that thing ran through the house, the old records
still play, but the sound has been taken from them. Only
the scratches repeating endlessly. She still plays them
and rocks in her chair for an hour. Hospital functionalities
are not my strong suit yet I welcome the dread within. Please
take care of her, the red arched stone bridges shrill voice calling
me forces me to run across the pathway, finding same shadow
on the front lawn. I try speaking and only the scratching sounds
come out. ‘What are you doing here?’ Is heard from the metal box
in my windpipe thirty seconds later. Up North the friendliness
comes from a real place and not from a pill.. creation and
knowing when they ran out, they used mud to build men’s bodies.
The ringing in my ears was implanted by the tall ones. I care about
ratcheting up the tension so long as it shakes some of these devices
free..they came back and they scooped everything out of the form,
leaving nothing but hopefully, purpose. Blackbirds are etched
in the retinal scans of the optimistic. It’s hard for me
to get there- I took her smile away.



Next week’s seven phrases/groups of words:



-drones in single file
-battered metal office furniture
-tongued the roof of it
-speaking out of turn is welcome
-sleeping one hundred hours
-won’t even think of help
-ask if it’s still in the woods


-Adam Barnick

Six Word Theater

Six Word Theater

Click here for last week's entry.

Inspired by the challenge Hemingway undertook to tell a story
in six words("For Sale: baby shoes. Never worn.”), I attempt
to polish my skills by telling a six-word story or phrase each
Wednesday.

Feel free to "continue the story"
or start your own.

Today's entry:


After four drinks, life's great!
(vomits)


-Adam

Vitali Investigates the NHL

Vitali Patoshik

Vitali goes hard hitting at recently out homosexual Sidney Crosby of the Pittsburgh Penguins after their defeat of the New York Rangers...

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Vitali's first investigation
Vitali at the Super Bowl

Start Talking

Every episode will have a different person sit in front of the camera as I announce their character name and a brief description of them as if they were a guest on my program via satellite, except the person has absolutely no idea who they are playing or what I am going to ask until the words come out of my mouth. At which point they have to, simply, Start Talking.

First Guest: Timmy Cassese

Bedbugs XXXI

Bedbugs XXXI


Click here for an explanation of how Bedbugs is created.

Click here for last week's Bedbugs.




Angels and extras pretending to have good intentions
watch that the cheering is dying down and worlds are ripe
for the taking. I can’t even get the recordings to play so
I put them in the basement. It took them that night but
nobody believes abuse of monochromatic, monosyllabic
diaphragmatic builds and builds until it can find us
so come turn out that light! My artificial daughter
is cheaper; little girl hears it splashing in alley puddles and
mixes and matches emotional paints. I smear it along the
asylum walls until I wake. Color was invented by them. It’s a shame
because so few people can even see it. To the black
and white beings it’s a mess and no more which is what
is the reason for why it becomes a reason that was buried
in the highway- pain that comes in a box is better.



Next week’s seven phrases/groups of words:


-shrill voice calling me
-shadow on the front lawn
-what are you doing here?
-when they ran out, they used mud
-ratcheting up the tension
-scooped everything out of the form
-I took her smile away



-Adam in absentia

Six Word Theater

Six Word Theater

Click here for last week's entry.


Inspired by the challenge Hemingway undertook to tell a story
in six words("For Sale: baby shoes. Never worn.”), I attempt
to polish my skills by telling a six-word story or phrase each
Wednesday.

Feel free to "continue the story"
or start your own.

Today's entry:


Come to the basement, it croaked...



-Adam in absentia

IRON MAN by Frank Palmcoast

When he's not watching, with beads of sweat, his fellow, legally blind, senior citizens parallel park, Frank Palmcoast is catching seven dollar movies at the local multiplex from sunny Pompano Beach, Florida. He's retired, he's angry at the world, he can't spell to save his life, and he hates Hollywood almost as much as Hillary Clinton, but that will not stop our irreverent, dementia fightin', AARP card carrying everyman from giving us a fresh take on all things Hollyweird. Besides, how can he pass up that marvelous senior citizen discount?

This week .... Palmcoast takes on a superhero!

*****************************************************

I chose Iron Man as my starter film for the summer season. In the past I saw other hero films like Superman, Batman and Spiderman but Iron Man was by far the best of these Marvel comic hero's. Iron Man is entertaining with very little boring moments and I think all ages will enjoy this flick. Robert Downey is fine as is Jeff Bridges who plays the villain. I couldn't happen to wonder if the Coen Brothers tittled this movie it would have been called, "No Country For Iron Men". Like all first superhero movies Iron Man takes an in-depth look at Iron Mans beginnings. This movie is visually spectacular and has the perfect amount of build up so you don't feel like you missed any four play and you still get your rocks off. There are also quite a few laughs out loud throughout the movie. Iron man is Ironclad. I went to see this flick with low expectations and I was pleasantly surprised. Iron Man was MARVELous!
This flick is like Campbell soup, Mn, Mn, good.FYI at the end of the movie stay for the end of the credits and a famous Actor makes an appearance as Nick Fury, Director of S.H.I.E.L.D and therefore the next sequel titled the Avenger. Downey, from rehab back to icon! This should have been released for July 4th and now onto Indiana Jones!

Bedbugs XXX

Bedbugs XXX


Click here for an explanation of how Bedbugs is created.

Click here for last week's Bedbugs.




My soul and frightfully diminished ambition are dissolved
into bits smaller than my parent’s generation. Empty-headed
platitudes are what the doctors ask me to carve into the
underside of my subdermal subconscious scratched like sandpaper
that itches when you think; wolf in the bleached forest is easy
to discover, uncover and simply find as long as the portrait is
painted and primed for creativity. Hopefully someone will
come along and paint it. Pulling color from the leaves, I don’t
care if that’s the last result as long as the result is ART.
Thumping bass in my head suggests crainial implants
from the docs or simply our slothful soundtrack we work
our lives to. Don’t make me care, they beg. It would take
away a lot of martini time! Silk under me is what I miss,
specifically the person who filled it. One more time is yearned for
now that I’ve built my own dungeon. The doctors do promise
it is safer there…knowing my own mind, best to leave this
one alone.



Next week’s seven phrases/groups of words.

-the cheering is dying down
-abuse of monochromatic
-turn out that light!
-little girl hears it splashing in alley puddles
-color was invented by them
-what is the reason for
-pain that comes in a box is better.

-Adam

The Post 5am Post

whenever i am still up past 5am i am going to do a new posting here on the post 5am post.

i am a night person. early to bedding creates guilt from "night wasting". sometimes i even get things done.

the other night i cleaned the whole apartment. tonight i watched a film. it's never enough though.

i enjoy a number of things more than sleep. even now, feeling weak and fatigued, i would like to find a second (or third) wind and perhaps organize my shelfing.

there is a noise i am hearing now. if i were in the country, this noise would frighten me. but here, in the city, whatever it could be is less worrisome than what is.

if people have a problem with children posing in alluring women poses, without "clothes" on, no one should consider that overreacting.

wright is right. if your god is white and he's a man, and you are a white man, then you are going to have a hard time feeling less than superior.

Zabriskie Point tomorrow. Two or Three Things I know About Her next week.

i agreed to meet someone in a bar last night that didn't know what i looked like, nor i him. we were in there together for more than ten minutes without knowing it. this will never happen again in my life. i am certain. wonder what else is gone.

-peter rinaldi