Bedbugs XXI
Click here for an explanation of how Bedbugs is created.
Click here for last week's Bedbugs.
How many heads’ thoughts are going to get in
our way? A bat with nails in it would only
irritate them. Mumbling bowling pins
separating them from their dreams, downbeat
flatearthers gather wherever they hear there’s
a line they can stand in. Apple brats, several raining
and misty all week is a gibberish excuse. Won't cover
the tattoo on your head that shouts "lonely."
Smiled in the back of the European shop, went out and
watched as the clouds race and the sun set in fast-motion.
He writes in his journal all the thoughts, feelings,
impressions off how many hallways we have to
be found hiding in before we snap out of it
and get life done. At parties traveled best
smile was rented for the occasion, the energy dead
center and now has leaked all over the backseat. Out
of time, confidence, and excuses, in the middle of town.
Next week's seven phrases/groups of words:
-ashes rubbed on the walls
-waiting for all of it to come to him
-tattooed on the inside
-screaming after rehab
-out of turn
-filed their metal plates up North
-speaking better than doing somehow.
-Adam Barnick.
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Bedbugs XXI
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Six Word Theater
Six Word Theater
Inspired by the challenge Hemingway undertook to tell a story
in six words("For Sale: baby shoes. Never worn.”), we attempt
to polish our skills by telling a six-word story or phrase each Wednesday.
If you feel the sentence isn’t final and may lead somewhere,
you are encouraged to follow it up or continue where I "left off"
with your own six words in the comments section.
If someone else has commented, try to continue from their end point.
Today's story:
Lived, loved, created; then woke up.
-Adam Barnick
Anna Berger (Parts 3 & 4)
The amazing actress Anna Berger sat down with The Boutros Boutros Follies' Peter Rinaldi for a four hour interview that has been edited and presented here in 7 short parts (watch part 1 & 2). She has been a working actress on the stage and (big & small) screen for 60 years and she looks back on her life and work with a candor and humor that is touching, insightful and captivating.
Part 4: The Actors Studio
Check out her incredible scene in Crimes and Misdemeanors on TCM Saturday March 1 @ 8pm
Saturday, February 23, 2008
The Lapsed Catholic
Is it still a sin to think of aborting your child when you're not even pregnant yet?
Sincerely,
Mary Wyatt Matters
VANTAGE POINT and OSCAR picks by Frank Palmcoast
This week ... Frank is anything but shy in giving his point of view of Vantage Point.
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Frank Palmcoast's SELECTED OSCAR picks for 2007As the senior Movie and Music critic for the Palmaire Gazette I must approach my selections from a PROFESSIONAL view. Having said that I must also note that in my humble opinion, three GREAT and NOT nominated films were omitted for consideration! Namely, Rambo, Wild Hogs and the blockbuster, Witless Protection. Best Actor---will go to DDL for the "There will be Blood or better known as "There will Be Boring'! I believe and enjoyed Johnny Depp and his excellent performance in Sweeney Todd and he proved once again his multi talents. Best Director will go to the Coen's who don't even know how to spell there names. Best Movie will go to "No Country For Old Men and it proved it was no picture for old men because we all walked out totally disappointed with another terrible ending! Best Supporting should go to Josh Brolin because Streisand has been supporting him for years! We saw La Vie En Rose but it was only about an actress who was imitating Judy Garland and her speaking English was terrible and who gives a rats ass for the French! I never go see a Chic flick so that choice is rather difficult for me. As far as best song, there hasn't been a good song since Chariots of Fire and generally I am never impressed with the music worlds feeble attempts at this medium.
Thursday, February 21, 2008
The Boxpress Music Time Show with Brian Hughes
Show #6: "The Story Songs"
Bedbugs XX
Bedbugs XX
20 is the total number of digits on the human body.
In the former British currency system, there were twenty shillings in a pound.
The number 20 is used as an index in measuring visual acuity.
Twenty is the age of majority in Japanese tradition. Someone who is
exactly twenty years old is described as hatachi.
In the roleplaying game Dungeons and Dragons, twenty-sided dice
play a pivotal role in gameplay, and to "roll a twenty" is significant
to the point that it is sometimes used in other, usually related, contexts,
similar to the use of "doubles" in reference to Monopoly.
Click here for an explanation of how Bedbugs is created.
Click here for last week's Bedbugs.
Something or someone is dragged through the next room.
The oscillating sound in my head resembles Tibetan
singing bowls. Though it may be my canals collapsing.
How we rationalize beauty in danger and decay; after all this
time, minds change. Shutting splintered doors to keep
myself from getting in. It waits until I leave
when I think it is safe but no matter, it's on me
as soon as I think it. No room for you anymore, I
say and it mimics my speech as I do it.
Next morning golden lillies are growing on the
walls- the sound is still there. Uninspired crowds
are waiting in all of the pictures someone left me.
Energy in short supply, everyone in the leaf-strewn
park gathered for a reason taken from them.
Red covers atop every car can't be unstrapped.
Youth is wasted without a proper stopwatch, the
lighted sign flashes repeatedly. Wait outside the old
house until I know it's safe, was the last thing
I ever got to tell her. I wonder if she's safe.
She's wearing glasses and eleven shades of black.
Somewhere, she is smiling. Dead by any measure, if
emotional memory serves me. Daniel doesn't care
if the flowered hills watch me, what I forgot
to tell people whose 'souls for sale' signs stapled
to them was all they needed to say. You won't trick us again.
Next week's seven phrases/groups of words:
-downbeat flatearthers gather
-raining and misty all week
-smiled in the back of the European shop
-how many hallways
-best smile was rented for the occasion
-dead center
-in the middle of town
-Adam Barnick
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
The Story Slice: Maureen: Part II
by Brian Hughes
Now that Cahil had grown into a fully confident thirty-year old man, free of morose depression, free of misguided and safe internet romances that always seemed to lead to unreal expectations and even more unreal profiles, free of a job that locked him into an office cubicle: why then was he not satisfied to settle down with the girl of his dreams? Why did he need to travel three thousand miles to bed three different girls?
“What the hell is the matter with you?” Cotter, his ol’ friend from his journalism school days, asked. “You have a great gal, low maintenance, self sufficient, and real fun to be around. Not only that, she’s hot as fuck!”
“You’re right on all of those accounts: all of them,” acknowledged Cahil has he stared down at his half eaten buffalo burger. They usually had their big discussions at the Broadway Restaurant at 100th street and Broadway. Cotter liked to dress like an ol’ school journalist, with slick hair and a pair of suspenders and a striped collared shirt, pen and notepad sticking out of the pocket, and a toothpick perpetually sticking out of his mouth. Cahil pulled out a flight itinerary and held it up to Cotter. “You see this?”
“Yep.”
“The City Savior is flying me out to Los Angeles to interview the train wreck, hotter than hot, R&B singer Brenda Burgundy, an interview that can really help catapult my career, and all I can think of are Heather’s breasts, Alex's coy and virginal ass, and Colleen’s sexy flirtations; that and how I missed out on those great experiences because of my useless neuroses that I allowed to trap and torture me unnecessarily. I had immense sexual opportunity, and because of the funk I was in, I blew all of these opportunities of fine ass. Chicks dug me and flirted with me, and I know they were disappointed in me. I’d flirt with them, and smile in their direction, and it always led to nowhere, because I was scared. I would not allow myself to fuck, or have fun, or experience life to its fullest. But I feel strong, Cotter, I feel like I have gained something in this relationship that I didn’t have when I was around all those girls. There is unfinished business that is knawing at my insides that I have to settle before I set off on that mysterious, challenging and rewarding life that is marriage and family.”
“But that is just your ego talking, Cahil, can’t you see it? You have all the love, and with due respect – tits and ass, any human being could possibly need. You have all of the things you long for in Janeen.”
Cahil pushed his food aside and drained his coffee.
“I know, I know for Christ’s sake! It just pisses me off that these wonderful girls were dangled like gold right in front of my face and I let it all slip through my fingers.”
“You don’t need it, I tell ya, you don’t need it!” Cotter implored. “Interview Brenda Burgundy, marry Janeen, and become the best rock journalist of your generation.”
Cahil wasn’t listening. “Do you know if Maureen is going to the Alberto St. Croix after party?”
Cahil stood stoically handsome against a faux Roman column at Complex grinning at Maureen as she danced crazy sexy with a few of her friends: her milky skin shining with perspiration under blue lights. Cahil sauntered over, Jack on the rocks in his hand. Maureen was looking him up and dawn as she bit her lip and got down to the music – swaying her head – maroon, curly hair bouncing. When she awoke from her dance reverie, she grabbed Cahil’s Jack, finished it, then she let it fall empty at their feet. Cahil was soon in the middle of Maureen and her friend’s bump and grind factory. Cahil however, only had eyes for Maureen. Maureen was his only East Coast conquest, and he had to fuck her that night.
Maureen was nestled in Cahil’s arms on her hassock. They hadn’t had sex, but were enjoying some fine green tea.
“I’m confused,” Maureen said.
“Why?”
“I don’t know what direction my life is going in. I’m going to be thirty-one and I’m still in school, studying Spanish Literature, and …”
“… and so …?”
“… and what am I? A professional student?”
“You’re smart as hell, funny, beautiful and so much more. So you’re confused – join the club. I want to be a novelist and screenwriter, yet I have to go out to California to interview this crack whore of a singer.”
“What’s up with her anyway? She’s always in the news! I’m so fed up with hearing about her problems. Is she pregnant? Is she mental? Did she OD? Fuuuuuuuck ….”
“Yeah, I know, and I have to pretend I care when I interview her. Look at all the dough she has. And you think you’re confused?”
“I know…”
“There is no reason why you can’t be living a great life: you are college educated and have lots of passion: you should be in a line of work that fulfills you, not just financially, but spiritually as well. What is that thing that is calling you? What is your passion? What motivates you? You may have to make a list and center in on what you really like, because sometimes we have too many choices and it can get very confusing.”
Maureen was smiling. She felt very cozy nestled up against Cahil: his breath puffing out against the back of her ear, his arm firmly around her waist.
“I feel so … you make me feel so warm and safe. You always have. You always have words that make me feel good. A girl could get really addicted to you.”
“You make me feel the same way Maureen.”
Maureen collected Russian Dolls. Cahil was eyeing her collection.
“I have to admit, your Russian dolls give me a bit of the creeps.”
Maureen laughed as she reached out for one on her shelf and handed it to him. “They are called Matryoshka dolls. They are named after a female Russian name Matryona, which is kind of associated with fat, farming women.”
“Very interesting.”
“That set you have there are peasant women: go ahead – undress them, if you will.”
Cahil grinned as he opened up the first peasant woman, all the while eyeing Maureen. He opened up the second and the third after that. Unable to contain themselves any longer, they were soon locked by the mouth with passionate kisses. Lowering themselves to the blue carpet, they bagan removing each other’s clothing when Cahil stopped:
“What’s wrong?” Maureen asked.
“This is … I don’t know … I don’t know if I should do this …” Cahil said, as the thought of what he was doing with Maureen, in essence, placing her on his trophy wrack, started churning guilty feelings inside him.
“You need to do this. You need to do this right now,” Maureen said.
Maureen was quivering with lustful excitement.
“Yes, you’re absolutely right,” Cahil said, as they resumed a fuck that had been several years in the making.
It was 4:38 in the morning when Cahil awoke from an accidental nap. Maureen was in a coma sleep. He stared at her bountiful body, lying there naked on its side. He could not believe he was staring at Maureen naked beside him. He slowly moved off the bed and placed his underwear back on. The heat pipes were making a racket and the room was burning up. Cahil opened her window a smidge and began dressing. After a few minutes a sports car pulled up to the traffic light outside. The sound of Brenda Burgundy’s smash hit was blaring into the night.
California was calling.
For Part I of this story - click here.
Saturday, February 16, 2008
Anna Berger (Part 2: Early Life)
Part 2 of my interview with actress Anna Berger.
In this segment, Anna talks about growing up on the lower east side of New York City and her early beginnings as a performer.
Thursday, February 14, 2008
My body rises when my dream self sleeps
In my dream I am a primitive, grisly being with black-oiled, scraggly hair, chewing on gristle and crouched low at a precipice of rock. I gaze at an animal—sleek and smooth, greasy in movement and intention—circling the burial place of my beloved sister. I tear out my hair in long strands and scream at this sleek intruder ‘til my throat is raw and raspy, but he never entirely leaves. Sometimes he argues just with his eyes—lazy and impassable—dripping easy excuses for his presence which is anathema—since he was her killer.
Mary Wyatt Matters
Bedbugs XIX
Bedbugs XIX
Click here for an explanation of how Bedbugs is created.
Click here for last week's Bedbugs.
Your life is an atmosphere I couldn’t breathe in and
no matter how much sunshine
is pumped in the flowerbed,
it’s still artificial. It’s often a coin toss as to
whether your heart will skip a beat but we
drive on relentlessly and turnabout is fair play, it squawked.
Ignore it. Rent a dictionary if life doesn’t make sense.
Metal implants, brown curls twisted in envy on the
machine intended to replace a little girl.
On the roof, six of them; maybe she’ll climb on top.
It’s turning to fall before my very eyes and somehow,
it’s windy, indoors. Killing time by killing thought.
I unplug everything and tell her I’m deemed
a hero, but nothing’s on so happily I
don’t get the message. They forgot me
before I was born. How many sounds of colors
get fractured with the scientist’s best intention? Promised
to be the way it usually is, but the trick was we
can’t remember that time. I hold the plastic
figure and pretend it cares. It works if you think
hard enough. Locked inside for the rest of it.
Next week's seven phrases/groups of words:
-after all this time, minds change
-no room for you anymore
-energy in short supply
-wait outside the old house until 1
-dead by any measure
-souls for sale
-You won't trick us again
-Adam
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
The Boxpress Music Time Show with Brian Hughes
Monday, February 11, 2008
Anna Berger (Part 1: Absolutely Anna)
Anna Berger had been a working actor on Broadway, television and in films for 60 years. She has turned the act of stealing a scene into an art in episodes of Law and Order, Everybody Loves Raymond and The Sopranos and in movies like The Taking of Pelham, One, Two, Three; Ghost World and Crimes and Misdemeanors, where, as Aunt May, she single-handedly turned a great Woody Allen film into one of his best.
But before she even got to Hollywood, she spent over 30 years on the Broadway stages and in tours with legends like Mae West and John Garfield as well as in the earliest days of live television.
Three years ago she embarked upon turning her memories into a one-woman show called Absolutely Anna. Shorty after it was finished, I met Anna when I recorded her performing it for the Jewish Braille Institute.
Since then she has been traveling the country, with her husband Bob as technical director, delighting and mesmerizing audiences with stories of growing up on the Lower East Side, seeing her first boyfriend (Walter Matthau!) off to war and transcending her less than actorly looks with a love of performing and turning it into a life long career filled with larger than life characters and moving experiences.
On February 10, 2008 she sat down with me in her home in New York City. The result is a 7 part interview that will be presented exclusively here at The Boutros Boutos Follies.
-Peter Rinaldi
Sunday, February 10, 2008
The First Recording of Vitali Patoshik
In this rare, behind-the-scenes moment from the set of "Oh! Be Joyful!", as the camera was ascending to it's overhead position on the tripod and Tyler Evans, Jonathan Roumie and Timmy Cassese await the next shot, Cassese improvises Vitali Patoshik at a Martin St. Louis press conference. Evans answers as St. Louis.
Cassese's podcast version of the scene, in which he does all the voices, can be heard here
Thursday, February 7, 2008
Journey To Published (5)
This video blog will chart the progress Brian Hughes will be making to get his novel The Boxpress Manifesto published.
Here's Part 5 of the journey...
Bedbugs XVIII
Bedbugs XVIII
Click here for an explanation of how Bedbugs is created.
Click here for last week's Bedbugs.
There are only five ways we can uncover
shining through to the skin as metal palettes are known
to be broken patch of interest as well as opinions
split and shattered amongst ourselves.
I come home to scare me again, outside and collapse.
One hundred sixteen of the ones sick of the loop inside
my head and heart that’s played since torrid
teenage years..how to turn it off? In the top lands
of the city, it is discovered it’s worse when it’s
your fault, she says; that is the surgery you can bring
a friend to, Collapsed memories, I’d beg to return
or to have back, stuck in the same state.
Next week’s seven phrases/groups of words:
-it’s often a coin toss
-turnabout is fair play, it squawked
-brown curls twisted in envy
-maybe she’ll climb on top
-killing time by killing thought
-promised to be the way it usually is
-locked inside for the rest of it
-Adam
The Throes (Part 3)
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Part 3
"Interlude"
John is ringing a buzzer at the front door of an apartment building.
Voice Over Intercom/ Yes?
John/Beth, it’s me, John. Can I come up?
Beth(over intercom)/John? Why didn’t you call, I got company.
J/I called like seven times.
Beth(over intercom)/Go away. You can’t just show up.
J/Beth, please, it’s not what you think.
John is at her apartment door. She opens the door slightly, sticks her head out.
Beth/(trying to be quiet) My grandparents are here. You can’t come in.
John/Why’d you let me in then?
B/Why are you here?
J/The cops are looking for me. I just need to lay low till I figure out what’s going-
Beth’s Grandfather, Hank, pops his head out.
Hank/Who is it out here?
J/Hey! Mr. Davis, how are you?
H/Who are you?
B/Poppa, This is my friend John, he-
H/I’m her boyfriend, John.
B/Ah, fuck you, John.
John sticks out his hand for him to shake.
Hank didn’t hear her; he was too busy making a fuss.
H/Boyfriend! Oh, come on in, John. Beth, let the boy in. What are you doing? Aren’t you a little too old to be hiding your boyfriends? (He turns back in to the apartment) Sue, Beth’s boyfriend is here!
Sue’s Voice/Boyfriend!
John smiles at Beth. Beth doesn’t return it.
Sue, Beth’s Grandmother, is laying down silverware in front of John at the table. Hank is beaming next to him. Beth, the only one who seems not to be having a good time, is washing dishes, punctuating the small talk that the others are engaged in with slammed bowls and cups.
Hank/Well we can certainly understand where your affection for her comes from. She is our favorite granddaughter.
Sue/That’s unofficial, John, of course.
John releases a well disguised fake laugh.
John/Of course.
H/What did you say it is that you do?
J/I’m a physician.
Beth slams a dish hard into the sink.
S/Oh my. What type?
J/I’m a Gynecologist, actually.
Beth turns and throws daggers at John. He is unphased.
J/That’s where I met Beth.
B/All right, all right. John’s not going to stay to eat. He’s got things to do, isn’t that right John?
John sneaks a quick peek at his phone. No messages.
He looks Beth right in the eyes. He smiles slyly.
J/Nope. I can eat.
He instantaneously removes his smile from this face. There is something vengeful going on between the two of them.
Beth looks like she going to kill him.
S/That’ a Boy. Whatever it is, it can wait.
J/That’s right.
Beth turns back to the dishes.
H/You are in for a treat, young man. My wife can cook the hell out of food.
John smiles at Hanks turn of phrase.
J/Well it must’ve trickled down to Beth. I am telling you, if I let another man get grab a hold of his one, I’ll be missing out on some fine eatin’, I am tellin’you.
Beth stops the sink. She lefts her head up. She doesn’t care anymore.
B/I don’t cook, dickhead. I DON’T COOK!
Sue and Hank are confused. But they try not to let the awkwardness linger.
S/Food is important. It’s a major part of our lives.
H/You said it.
J/Oh yes. It’s the way to a man’s heart, they say.
There is a long, silent pause.
J/That’s why when I marry your Granddaughter, I intend-
John is punched, hard, right in the eye, by Beth. He didn’t even see it coming. It nearly knocks him off the chair.
Sue’s high pitched yell is over and there is stunned silence again. But not for long.
S/Get the fuck out of my apartment, you fucking asshole!
John’s shock is subsiding as the pain comes. He holds his face.
S/GET OUT!!!
John gives her a look. It says “I was joking. You didn’t get it” and it makes her even more mad. She lunges at him. This time John moves. Hank Grabs her.
B/If you don’t get out of here I will fucking kill you!!!!!!
She is completely flipping out now. Hank can hardly hold her. Any appearance she was trying to keep for her Grandparents is forgotten. John is scared. He slips his jacket on as he reaches for the door. He attempts a visual goodbye toward Sue and Hank, but aborts it. He slides out.
On the street, John is examining his bruise in a car mirror. ‘It’s gonna be some shiner,’ he thinks. Two texts come in, one right after the other. He looks at his phone. First one is from Kira.
‘Kira?’ John didn’t even know she had his number.
It reads, “John, I need to talk to you. It’s serious. Can I come over?”
The second one is from Sammy.
“Mustard is back. She was drugged. Call me”
Suddenly John's face doesn't hurt that much.
to be continued
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
Teddie Dikiekens’ “Super” Sports Bonanza
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
THERE WILL BE BLOOD and UNTRACEABLE by Frank Palmcoast
When he's not watching, with beads of sweat, his fellow, legally blind, senior citizens parallel park, Frank Palmcoast is catching seven dollar movies at the local multiplex from sunny Pompano Beach, Florida. He's retired, he's angry at the world, he can't spell to save his life, and he hates Hollywood almost as much as Hilary Clinton, but that will not stop our irreverent, dementia fightin', AARP card carrying everyman from giving us a fresh take on all things Hollyweird. Besides, how can he pass up that marvelous senior citizen discount?
This week the veteran movie reviewer of The Palm Aire Gazette spills some "blood" in this ever opinionated review of Daniel Day Lewis and Diane Lane's new films.
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There will be blood should have been titled "There will be boring"!. Let me begin by saying, "A great actor does not make a great movie"! Daniel Day Lewis is terrific and compelling and for me he redid some of the roll he captured in "Gangs Of New York" Paul Dano was also good playing the duel rolls of Eli and Paul. Now I completely understand why the music was not up for an academy award---it sucked and I now no why his son loss his hearing--he listened to the sound track of the movie! Half way through this movie(that's around 4 hours) I asked my wife for a divorce because she recommended this awful picture. The title of this boring, over rated flick promised us blood, I just didn't realize it was from the people in the audience slitting their wrists. If you like political conventions your going to love this picture because it too has no substance, plenty of oil tycoons and holly rollers. I thought I was in New Mexico with all the dirt and dust. This is another example of a movie for critics, movie makers and Hollyweird but not for us foke, the audience. Half the movie going people left and the rest wanted their money back because the critics, AGAIN were terribly wrong. Lately when I leave a movie I utter the same review words, : What the Hell Was That""
Simply stated, this was a movie of an oil man who was an alcoholic that wanted to control the world, does that sound like our President or not! I and The main character did have something in common, by the end of the movie I hated everyone! What a waste of the three hours at this movie and at my age I can't afford to waste too many hours. On a scale of 1 to 100, I would give this a 10. It had no story, no music, no point and no entertainment value and I would have been better off at the city garbage dump watching it putrefy and it would stink less. This movie was slower than my 100 year old Grandmother and shes been dead for 10 years! I couldn't wait for the credits to roll and the best thing about the ending IS IT ENDED! This film about oil wells was more of a dry hole than a gusher!
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Untraceable is a serial killer mystery and at times I wish it was UNTRACEABLE! Diane Lane and Colin Hanks are really good as FBI employees who investigate and prosecute criminals on the Internet. The serial killer is a computer genius who shows graphically all his murders on his web site and the victims fate is left in the hands of the public computer users. Not bad thriller with suspense and I guess this film is a Silence of the Lambs of the Internet age. The detective played by Billy Burke was not convincing in his role and Joseph Cross who had a great opportunity playing the serial killer did not take advantage of this gift--I would have preferred Colin Hanks to play that part. The actual killings are pretty original, quite intense. The film had a terrible ending like so many other movies I've recently scene and believe the Soprano's originated. At times I felt that I should have stayed home and sorted my sock drawer but Diane Lane did sound cute with her newly acquired geek speaking. I would wait until it comes out on cable and don't waste your money on a DVD rental!
Underground, Above and Beyond: The Casually Edited True Life Subway Adventures of Hershey Browne
Super Monday
“Vote Obama, Vote for Change!” she shouted and then turned to me, “are you a registered democrat and are you ready for change?”
“Well I’m not but I am.”
“What?’
“I’m not a registered democrat but…”
“Oh. Ok.”
“Ok? That’s it? You’re giving up on me?” This was yesterday morning, the day between Super Tuesday and Super Bowl Sunday. I was standing on the platform at Jay Street/Borough Hall between the F train and the A train. The day was young, the week had just begun and already I was feeling like I was in between a lot of things.
“There’s a lot people here and if you’re not a registered democrat I need to move on – there’s a lot of people to talk to between now and tomorrow.”
“Yes, but I’m ready for change.”
“Are some sort of smart ass?” “Vote Obama, Vote for Change!” This was a pretty girl. Very pretty and probably out of my league. Maybe it was wrong to take advantage of the situation but maybe she was as well. What is she getting out of supporting a presidential candidate?
“No, I would really like to hear what you have to say about Barack Obama.”
“Look, you think I have time to…” and then I stopped paying attention to her words as I saw a beauty walk by with a nice big Hillary ’08 pin on her coat. I followed her with my eyes until she stopped only a few feet away from us.
“…are you even listening to me?”
“Yes yes, of course I am. Go on,” I said as I tried hard to pay attention but I couldn’t. The Hillary girl was prettier. She looked sweet. I wasn’t getting anywhere with the Obama girl but she kept talking to me.
“…and you can check his voting record if you don’t believe me.”
“I will. Thanks. Excuse me.” The Obama girl rolled her eyes and forgot about me instantly.
“Vote Obama, Vote for Change!” The A train rolled in. The Hillary girl got on. So did I.
“Hi! I’m Hershey.” She looked at me.
“Uhm, well you see, I was just talking to a woman on the platform over there about Barack Obama…”
“Yes, I noticed.”
“Oh, you did? Did ya? Great then, that’s great.”
“And?”
“And well, I just wanted to sort of get your take on the Democratic candidates.” She looked very hesitant and wary of talking to me.
“Are you undecided?”
“No, I’m pretty sure I like you?” She smiled. I broke her. I wasn’t sure if I won her but I knew I now had her time.
“Do you even care about any of this or are you just using it as an excuse to hit on girls?”
“Can it be both? I mean, a guy can both be interested in his country’s future and what a girl might want for breakfast, right?
“Did you just ask me to breakfast?”
“Did you just say yes?”
“No… I mean, I didn’t say yes…”
“But you didn’t say no.”
“Is this what you do? Do you just go around confusing girls on the train until they agree to have breakfast with you?”
“It wouldn’t even need to be traditional breakfast food. I mean we can get something weird like tacos or gyros if the whole breakfast thing is confusing you.”
“You’re fuckin crazy, aren’t you?”
“Nah. Well, maybe just a little. So…breakfast?”
“Well I just can’t miss work for breakfast.”
“Call in late.”
“Will you vote for Hillary tomorrow?”
“What if I told you I’m not a registered democrat.”
“Depends. Are you a registered republican?”
“No.”
“Registered voter?’
“Yes.”
“And if you were a democrat?”
“I’d stuff the ballot box for Hillary.”
“OK, Let’s get some breakfast.”
Vitali Patoshik Investigates
Vitali fought his way through to get the scoop from star Quarterback and MVP of the New York Giants in the Superbowl… Eli Manning!!!!!
Listen to Vitali's First Investigation HERE
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