THERE WILL BE BLOOD and UNTRACEABLE by Frank Palmcoast

When he's not watching, with beads of sweat, his fellow, legally blind, senior citizens parallel park, Frank Palmcoast is catching seven dollar movies at the local multiplex from sunny Pompano Beach, Florida. He's retired, he's angry at the world, he can't spell to save his life, and he hates Hollywood almost as much as Hilary Clinton, but that will not stop our irreverent, dementia fightin', AARP card carrying everyman from giving us a fresh take on all things Hollyweird. Besides, how can he pass up that marvelous senior citizen discount?

This week the veteran movie reviewer of The Palm Aire Gazette spills some "blood" in this ever opinionated review of Daniel Day Lewis and Diane Lane's new films.

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There will be blood should have been titled "There will be boring"!. Let me begin by saying, "A great actor does not make a great movie"! Daniel Day Lewis is terrific and compelling and for me he redid some of the roll he captured in "Gangs Of New York" Paul Dano was also good playing the duel rolls of Eli and Paul. Now I completely understand why the music was not up for an academy award---it sucked and I now no why his son loss his hearing--he listened to the sound track of the movie! Half way through this movie(that's around 4 hours) I asked my wife for a divorce because she recommended this awful picture. The title of this boring, over rated flick promised us blood, I just didn't realize it was from the people in the audience slitting their wrists. If you like political conventions your going to love this picture because it too has no substance, plenty of oil tycoons and holly rollers. I thought I was in New Mexico with all the dirt and dust. This is another example of a movie for critics, movie makers and Hollyweird but not for us foke, the audience. Half the movie going people left and the rest wanted their money back because the critics, AGAIN were terribly wrong. Lately when I leave a movie I utter the same review words, : What the Hell Was That""
Simply stated, this was a movie of an oil man who was an alcoholic that wanted to control the world, does that sound like our President or not! I and The main character did have something in common, by the end of the movie I hated everyone! What a waste of the three hours at this movie and at my age I can't afford to waste too many hours. On a scale of 1 to 100, I would give this a 10. It had no story, no music, no point and no entertainment value and I would have been better off at the city garbage dump watching it putrefy and it would stink less. This movie was slower than my 100 year old Grandmother and shes been dead for 10 years! I couldn't wait for the credits to roll and the best thing about the ending IS IT ENDED! This film about oil wells was more of a dry hole than a gusher!

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Untraceable is a serial killer mystery and at times I wish it was UNTRACEABLE! Diane Lane and Colin Hanks are really good as FBI employees who investigate and prosecute criminals on the Internet. The serial killer is a computer genius who shows graphically all his murders on his web site and the victims fate is left in the hands of the public computer users. Not bad thriller with suspense and I guess this film is a Silence of the Lambs of the Internet age. The detective played by Billy Burke was not convincing in his role and Joseph Cross who had a great opportunity playing the serial killer did not take advantage of this gift--I would have preferred Colin Hanks to play that part. The actual killings are pretty original, quite intense. The film had a terrible ending like so many other movies I've recently scene and believe the Soprano's originated. At times I felt that I should have stayed home and sorted my sock drawer but Diane Lane did sound cute with her newly acquired geek speaking. I would wait until it comes out on cable and don't waste your money on a DVD rental!