So, I've come to realize there are definitely things that can wake you up pretty quickly, even before you've had coffee. Case in point, I was driving on my way to a showing this afternoon -I was already hot and cranky and I was so tired and fighting a headache. All of a sudden a bus pulls in front of me. No, there wasn't a collision or near miss or anything -but I was hit by something...The message on the back of the bus.It read:SYPHILIS IS BACK -SPREAD THE WORD!
Next to it was a picture of a cell phone with a text message reading "What's up? Have U gotten your test yet? I'm doing mine 2day!" or something like that.I slammed on my brakes -stared for about 5 seconds and then busted up laughing. The guy in the car next to me looked over and I pointed at the bus -he cracked up and then held up his cell phone -we just drove off laughing.Now, I'm all for getting the word out there that dangerous things such as diseases, illiteracy and poor clothing styles are running rampant and should be prevented at any cost. I understand that in doing so, advertisers assume that using one of four stock methods of advertising** they think are a sure bet with audiences, will drive the point home.
**The four stock methods are 1) Small child, usually African American or Hispanic with HUGE eyes -these ads are for anything from poverty to illiteracy to immunizations to stopping racism. Then there's 2) Asking you a question which at best is rhetorical and at worst is just offensive, i.e. "Wouldn't you like to be debt free?" -no shit -who wouldn't? or "How does it feel to know that every piece of paper you throw away is killing an acre of rainforest?" -all they need to do is add the word "asshole" afterwards and the sentiment would be perfect. Even the dating ones which say something like, "Do you want to meet attractive, intelligent singles?" Nah -I'll settle for homely and simple thanks. (You can see where I'm going with this...) Number 2 ties in closely with 3) Questions or statements designed to make you feel guilty -the ones for STD's are great...I saw one that said "Way to go...Killer" and underneath it said something about not disclosing you're HIV positive and therefore putting people at risk -which yes, of course I agree with it -but I don't know if the marketing strategy is exactly...decent? Other examples of guilt advertising -reminding you that "50 Cents a day would save this child's life" as they're holding a bowl of what you hope is rice -these ads are particularly fun when you're in a restaurant or somesuch and about to eat your nice helping of whatever (and yes, I'm a total insensitive cunt about that. I'm the one who can't read Grapes of Wrath or any other quintessential dust-bowl migrant/depression era farm novel because I get hungry. Scene after scene of dust and dry and parched and starvation -and then behold! A turnip! Rejoice and let us have soup! Take that single turnip and add it to 10 gallons of water and we have a feast. Strain it through underpants to get flavor...and while reading this I'm on the phone ordering pizza or fried chicken because dammit, I'm hungry and I'm not going to get a complex about it either -just call me Scarlett O'Hara)....and then of course, good old 4) BIG BOLD WORDS DESIGNED TO GRAB YOUR ATTENTION IN AN ANNOYING FASHION AND MAKE YOU THINK THAT SOMETHING IMPORTANT MIGHT BE BEING SAID!!!!! followed by loud color schemes, glitter, bad attempts at modern "slang" and if at all possible, an endorsement from some washed up has been sports star/musician/actor/model or whatever.
Still, I do have to thank the advertising world for giving me a good laugh.
Now, I have to go get my syphilis test -R U getting yours?
Next to it was a picture of a cell phone with a text message reading "What's up? Have U gotten your test yet? I'm doing mine 2day!" or something like that.I slammed on my brakes -stared for about 5 seconds and then busted up laughing. The guy in the car next to me looked over and I pointed at the bus -he cracked up and then held up his cell phone -we just drove off laughing.Now, I'm all for getting the word out there that dangerous things such as diseases, illiteracy and poor clothing styles are running rampant and should be prevented at any cost. I understand that in doing so, advertisers assume that using one of four stock methods of advertising** they think are a sure bet with audiences, will drive the point home.
**The four stock methods are 1) Small child, usually African American or Hispanic with HUGE eyes -these ads are for anything from poverty to illiteracy to immunizations to stopping racism. Then there's 2) Asking you a question which at best is rhetorical and at worst is just offensive, i.e. "Wouldn't you like to be debt free?" -no shit -who wouldn't? or "How does it feel to know that every piece of paper you throw away is killing an acre of rainforest?" -all they need to do is add the word "asshole" afterwards and the sentiment would be perfect. Even the dating ones which say something like, "Do you want to meet attractive, intelligent singles?" Nah -I'll settle for homely and simple thanks. (You can see where I'm going with this...) Number 2 ties in closely with 3) Questions or statements designed to make you feel guilty -the ones for STD's are great...I saw one that said "Way to go...Killer" and underneath it said something about not disclosing you're HIV positive and therefore putting people at risk -which yes, of course I agree with it -but I don't know if the marketing strategy is exactly...decent? Other examples of guilt advertising -reminding you that "50 Cents a day would save this child's life" as they're holding a bowl of what you hope is rice -these ads are particularly fun when you're in a restaurant or somesuch and about to eat your nice helping of whatever (and yes, I'm a total insensitive cunt about that. I'm the one who can't read Grapes of Wrath or any other quintessential dust-bowl migrant/depression era farm novel because I get hungry. Scene after scene of dust and dry and parched and starvation -and then behold! A turnip! Rejoice and let us have soup! Take that single turnip and add it to 10 gallons of water and we have a feast. Strain it through underpants to get flavor...and while reading this I'm on the phone ordering pizza or fried chicken because dammit, I'm hungry and I'm not going to get a complex about it either -just call me Scarlett O'Hara)....and then of course, good old 4) BIG BOLD WORDS DESIGNED TO GRAB YOUR ATTENTION IN AN ANNOYING FASHION AND MAKE YOU THINK THAT SOMETHING IMPORTANT MIGHT BE BEING SAID!!!!! followed by loud color schemes, glitter, bad attempts at modern "slang" and if at all possible, an endorsement from some washed up has been sports star/musician/actor/model or whatever.
Still, I do have to thank the advertising world for giving me a good laugh.
Now, I have to go get my syphilis test -R U getting yours?
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2 comments:
Erik Estrada says(or texts): "2Day!"
An hour later, texts:
'sexbumps- I haz them'
I'm totally going 2Morrow.
I'm pretty + I'll be -.
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