Better Living Through Absurdity

This Week's Topic: The little gems you find when you least expect it...

So this weekend is the air show here in Chicago. I hate the air show. Why? Because first of all, without warning, the skies are suddenly filled with the maddening screams of death machines, all pointy and aerodynamic and probably ergonomic too now that I think about it, and they're screeching overhead, showing off, flipping the flips and looping the loops and it's ear-piercing and it's like being under attack and personally I don't see the point or charm in having a show that's dedicated to these machines which are capable of causing mass amounts of destruction from up above. It's noisy and undignified.

Give me a gun show any day of the week.

Anyways, there's no point to that except that some planes just flew overhead and all these people in the park across the street ducked...I almost did the same thing earlier -but I remembered reading something about not showing your fear and keeping still. If keeping still will stop a T-Rex from spotting me, then it should also stop a fighter jet. Right? Right?!

So I ended up going back to my old Livejournal which I kept from 2002 to 2007. I re-read large portions of it -and man, did I relive some really messed up shit. I really wish I'd just left well enough alone. But as if the cosmos wanted to apologize for the stumbling, catatonic walk down that excrement-laden, barbed wire puke pit we call memory lane, I came across this posting I had made regarding an internet convo with some guy who used to repeatedly harass me on IM...and of course, I couldn't resist sharing it with you!

Warning: I am more than a bit of a bitch here...but this guy used to bother me all the time and under several screen names...so, somewhat justified!

sam_black64: hello
dartsdelight: yes?
sam_black64: do u rember me
dartsdelight: rember?
sam_black64: remember
dartsdelight: no I don't -and seeing as there isn't any information on your profile, how can you really expect me to?
sam_black64: thats true
sam_black64: well u were on one of my old lists and in my messege archive
sam_black64: and i think we last talked about 5or6 months ago
dartsdelight: alright, well a lot has happened since then -sorry -but I still don't remember you -or this screen name
sam_black64: well this is my new name
sam_black64: it was like jack_black416
dartsdelight: oh yes -now it rings a bell -the same one that messaged me a few minutes ago
sam_black64: yep thats when i was looking at my old names
dartsdelight: I see
sam_black64: so do u wana get to no me again or should i just leave u alone
dartsdelight: if you are who I think you are, you should probably just leave me alone -in case you forgot I can't stand atrocious spelling or grammar, and if I recall correctly you used to buzz me all of the time which pissed me off to no end
sam_black64: do what im a bad at spelling
dartsdelight: you're bad at doing a simple sentence
sam_black64: i no
dartsdelight: it's "know"
sam_black64: look you might be so fuckin perfect but im not
dartsdelight: I didn't say I was perfect -and hells bells -at least you can spell "fuckin"
sam_black64: well i swear alot
dartsdelight: oh that's good -get the cursing vocab down -that's a way to win my heart
sam_black64: well im slow does that mean dont swear
dartsdelight: yes, you are slow -and no -I wasn't telling you not to swear -I was merely pointing out the irony that you can spell "fucking" and not "a lot" or "know" or "remember" or "you" -thus, your emphasis has obviously not been on a classical education level, or even a common sense level, heck probably not even an "understanding and interpreting street signs" level -which truthfully, repels me.
sam_black64: wow u are perfrect
sam_black64: and yes i no you instead of u
dartsdelight: no -I am educated, I read books, I like being able to converse on a wide variety of topics in a competent manner. There is something of a difference between wanting to appear like you give a shit about how you present yourself and come across to others, and assuming that you're "perfect" as you call it. I am far from perfect.
sam_black64: you think im dumb
dartsdelight: now you're catching on
dartsdelight: like a straw house soaked with gasoline next to a crematorium
sam_black64: and yes my mum still calls me here special boy
dartsdelight: "here special boy" -what, she calls you like you're a dog?
sam_black64: how many freinds do u have
dartsdelight: enough -why?
dartsdelight: and it's "friends"
sam_black64: just a question
sam_black64: i have lots of friends because im a nice person and i dont take the piss out of them or show them up
dartsdelight: neither do I -my friends are all good people who I respect and love very much, so what's your point?
sam_black64: well do u treat all your freinds like how your treating me
sam_black64: or friends
dartsdelight: you are not my friend -therefore it stands to reason that I would not treat you the same.
sam_black64: i dont think il ever be your friend
dartsdelight: my heart is bleeding
dartsdelight: now -listen closely and the little ignore button is going to do her work.


Ah, memories.

Okay back to work for me, you deviants, miscreants and all things wicked and witty!!