This is to be an abbreviated version of what I normally do. I got a lovely little something known as a "stomach virus" this weekend and I'm still recovering. So in the interest of not overtaxing my body which feels like a bunch of angry villagers took sticks and stones to it, and also maintaining enough coherency so that this doesn't crumble into a mess of TOTAL nonsense, I'm including a little tidbit that occurred sometime last October and which still makes me laugh when I think about it. Enjoy -and I promise that even if it takes sacrificing a chicken, a virgin or a small town, I'll get better and will write up something wonderfully absurd for next week.
So, I stop at my local 7-11 to grab coffee this morning and I decide to have a cigarette and some of my coffee before heading over to the school. So I'm leaning against my car, enjoying the nice cool breeze, glad that I can wear my long black peacoat and trying to remember everything I've got to do today.
Suddenly, tons of cops and ambulances converge on the gas station. Given that the plates on my car are...well shall we say, less than legal, I didn't want to do anything to draw attention to myself so I stayed where I was, calmly sipping coffee and having my cigarette. The vehicles go around the back of the building so I'm not sure if something happened behind the 7-11 or at the apartment building that abuts it. Frankly, I wasn't all that concerned. There were enough other people there who I was sure were dealing with it in a competent fashion.
Then an officer walks around the corner and approaches me.
Officer - "Hey are you from Forensics?"
Me - "I'm sorry, can you repeat that?"
Officer - "You know, Forensics, you the person they sent over?"
Me - "Have you looked at me?! I don't know what kind of departmental rules they have over there but given that I've got a facial piercing, hair that's 5 different colors and a tattoo of Odin's ravens showing, I wouldn't think I'd be mistaken for a city employee."
Officer -"...Well, it's your coat."
Me - *looks down* "My coat?"
Officer -"Yeah, you know, it looks professional. Or something. Look I'm sorry I bothered you."
Me -"No problem -hope you find the guy."
Officer -"Oh, well he's dead."
Me -"I meant the real forensic guy."
Officer -"Oh. Right."
At which point I put out my cigarette, get in my car and go to school. I thought about maybe having played along...I mean, I could have at least walked over and taken a look..."Hmmm, yes, this man was shot. I think. Are those holes? Or gashes? No definitely shot. Yeah. And more than once I'd say." *ashes on body*
School seemed pretty dull after that.
And now, back to bed for me!
So, I stop at my local 7-11 to grab coffee this morning and I decide to have a cigarette and some of my coffee before heading over to the school. So I'm leaning against my car, enjoying the nice cool breeze, glad that I can wear my long black peacoat and trying to remember everything I've got to do today.
Suddenly, tons of cops and ambulances converge on the gas station. Given that the plates on my car are...well shall we say, less than legal, I didn't want to do anything to draw attention to myself so I stayed where I was, calmly sipping coffee and having my cigarette. The vehicles go around the back of the building so I'm not sure if something happened behind the 7-11 or at the apartment building that abuts it. Frankly, I wasn't all that concerned. There were enough other people there who I was sure were dealing with it in a competent fashion.
Then an officer walks around the corner and approaches me.
Officer - "Hey are you from Forensics?"
Me - "I'm sorry, can you repeat that?"
Officer - "You know, Forensics, you the person they sent over?"
Me - "Have you looked at me?! I don't know what kind of departmental rules they have over there but given that I've got a facial piercing, hair that's 5 different colors and a tattoo of Odin's ravens showing, I wouldn't think I'd be mistaken for a city employee."
Officer -"...Well, it's your coat."
Me - *looks down* "My coat?"
Officer -"Yeah, you know, it looks professional. Or something. Look I'm sorry I bothered you."
Me -"No problem -hope you find the guy."
Officer -"Oh, well he's dead."
Me -"I meant the real forensic guy."
Officer -"Oh. Right."
At which point I put out my cigarette, get in my car and go to school. I thought about maybe having played along...I mean, I could have at least walked over and taken a look..."Hmmm, yes, this man was shot. I think. Are those holes? Or gashes? No definitely shot. Yeah. And more than once I'd say." *ashes on body*
School seemed pretty dull after that.
And now, back to bed for me!
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2 comments:
That was a great story. If not for the situation with your vehicles license plate it would have been great if you played along. You could have been – Oh, I thought you asked if I was FOR RESNICK, you know the former Justice of the Supreme Court of Ohio...no, I don’t care for her and thanks for showing me that dead body.
Hope you feel better.
The best part is, I studied criminal profiling for awhile so I could have probably played along at least convincingly enough for a bit! That particular 7-11 has given me a great many stories, and I'm quite fond of it by now, though sadly (though perhaps fortunately for the victims) it hasn't had a repeat incident the likes of this one.
Feeling much better thanks -though I must force myself to NOT have my normal daily allowance of coffee and instead have juice or water...bah.
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